Tag Archives: forgiveness

Experience; The Greatest Teacher

You were born to be exceptional, so why do you think you aren’t?

Everything about you is amazing. You were born with a purpose in mind. Have you found that purpose yet?

Have you ever felt that you have nothing to give and therefore are unimportant?

Believe me friends, you are very important! Sometimes, we don’t understand our purpose until we’ve been through the ringer, and why is that? Because, we need to be able to understand how to use our experiences to be the best we can be.

So, if you’re unsure of your purpose at this point in your life, don’t despair! You’re purpose has always been there, it just may be dormant until you have the experience to know how to share it.

Take some time and think about the experiences you’ve had in your life; the good and the bad. How can you use that to propel yourself to the greatness you have inside of you?

I know it really helps you to gain clarity when you write down your experiences and realize what you really have inside of you. Take the lessons you’ve learned in every experience and use those as a guide to your greatness.

God does not make mistakes! I’m happy to share that I was in a devastating accident many years ago that nearly took my leg, but it also saved my life. I was heading down a scary path, but I couldn’t see that at the time. Laying in a hospital bed in traction in my living room gave me time to think about what I was doing and where I was going. That was one painful wake-up call!

I do not wish that kind of painful eye-opener on anyone, but sometimes that’s what it takes to bring you back to where you should be when you stray off your purpose driven path.

When you hear the statement, “Everything happens for a reason”, how does that speak to you? What do you really hear from that statement? What can you take away from that statement and why would it be in your best interest? Think about that for a moment and then write down your take-aways from the painful experience and put it into a reasonable format. What did you learn? How can you apply what you’ve learned? Why do you think you had to go through that experience?

Often, we become very angry at going through a tough, painful or traumatic experience. We then become very guarded and tend to push people away or adopt an attitude of fear, resentment and defensiveness, which will not serve happy relationships with your significant other, family, friends or even your job.

A young lady I interviewed told me that she’d rather be angry about her losses than feel the depression. The anger is how she keeps her grief in check (so she says). She’s consistently using anger to mask her depression over tragic experiences and refuses to allow herself to feel and get through the depression, which would then allow her to release the anger. Consequently, her anger is very apparent in her everyday life. She has terrible road rage, very little if any compassion for other people’s mistakes, and has a hard time connecting with many of her friends, family and especially her children. I’m so very sad for her because she’s missing out on some amazing life experiences because of it. Additionally, because she refuses to get past her anger, her children are growing up thinking it’s okay to always be angry.

Has your anger overtaken you? How can you get past it? There’s a very simple trick to help you overcome your anger; it’s called forgiveness. “What! How can I possibly forgive this or that, him or her, or even God for what happened to me?” Yes, I can hear you saying it.

It’s actually quite a feat to forgive someone who’s hurt you, especially when you believe that God had something to do with it. Let me tell you friend; God does not harm or set out to hurt you. Yet, mankind is a completely different story.

When people feel hurt, they tend to lash out and hurt others. Forgiving is your saving grace for yourself; it’s what gives you peace in your heart. Whether there is ever an apology or not, do your best to forgive the hurts so you may move on to your purpose in life.

If you have trouble forgiving, then you should ask for help. In Matthew, chapter 7, verses 7-8 it says

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”

But, beware! Further in the bible you’ll find a warning in James, chapter 4, verses 2-3 where it says

“2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”

I firmly believe that asking God to help you forgive, even if it’s for your own self-preservation, is something that He will gladly give you because it also helps those around you.

Remember, hate begets hate, but love begets love. When you’re living in love and peace, others who want to live in love and peace will surround you. Your relationships will flourish and you’ll enjoy a peace you’ve never dreamed possible.

And that, my friends is where you’ll find your exceptional purpose! So remember, use your experiences as your teacher, find the “Miracle in the Muck” and propel yourself to the greatness you were born to have!

My love and blessings to you dear friends.


             Have you ever been so angry at someone, you just knew you’d hate that person for the rest of your life? That person did something so mean, unconscionable and unspeakable, that there was just no way you would possibly ever even accept an apology from that person. That person completely betrayed your trust, love and/or friendship. Why on earth would you even consider forgiving that person?

People make mistakes, even you do. Yet, some mistakes seem terribly unforgivable, don’t they? Well, think about the worst thing you’ve ever done to someone; and be honest with yourself. Would you forgive you?

It’s hard to forgive people when we feel hurt, betrayed, angry, etc., but remember, you are in control of your own emotions. Yet, in order to control your emotions, you need to be free of the negative, damaging emotions such as hate and anger. The only way to be free of those destructive emotions is to forgive those who hurt you.

I didn’t say this was an easy feat. In fact, it took me years of asking God every day to help me forgive someone who had hurt me so terribly. Yet, once I was able to forgive, I was able to move on and have a much healthier attitude toward everything and everybody.

In my early teens, I remember being extremely angry with someone. One day, seeing my continued anger, my step-dad asked why I would allow someone else to control my emotions in such a negative manner. I went through all the horrible things that person had done to me (according to my teenage angst), explaining to my step-dad why I had a right to be angry. He simply told me that the only person my anger was hurting was me.

His statements did not make much sense at the time, but just a few short years later struck a chord. I again was extremely angry with someone and allowed my anger to grow. Before I knew it I was getting wrinkles and gray hair, and I was only in my 20’s! My step-dad’s words rang back to me at that point and I realized just how right he was. My anger was affecting my relationships with family and friends, making me old before my time, and I ended up with an ulcer for which I had to take medication. I realized the hate and anger I was holding onto against someone who had hurt me was only hurting me more.

There are many studies, including the oldest one of all, The Bible, which warn against the health hazards of not forgiving. Just reading these studies should help you to make the decision to forgive those who hurt you so you can live a life free of the pain others inflict. If you prefer medical reference, the Mayo Clinic gives a broader explanation of the health benefits of forgiveness.

In short, forgiveness is for your benefit, not for that of the person who caused you pain. Although, you will find that your forgiveness of that person will allow others to forgive you of your mistakes. It may even bring the person who hurt you to understand and reciprocate the love that you showed in your forgiveness of their actions.  Just remember, anger begets anger, but love begets love. Even an unruly, out of control child often only needs a hug in order to calm down and become the sweet little angel you know that child really is. So remember, hate and anger tears you up; forgiveness sets you free and you can choose to share the love instead wherein lies your success!