Tag Archives: Personal Development

Ladies and Gentlemen!

Ladies and Gentlemen!


Do you understand the definition of these two words? What is a lady? What is a gentleman?

The origin of these terms have changed greatly over the centuries, yet one still remains the same. The word/term “Lady”, in today’s use, is essentially a woman who is “refined, polite and well-spoken” regardless of her social stature.

The same generally goes for the word/term “Gentleman”, which is considered a man who is “a civilized, educated, sensitive, or well-mannered man”.

So, why do I bring this up? Well, it seems that these terms and definitions have more recently been lost in our society. Many of the Generation Xer’s and Millennial’s have no idea what the true meaning of being a lady or gentleman mean or most certainly, how to behave as one.

It’s true that these days the terms often merely describe gender. A lady is simply a woman and a gentleman just a man. Believe me friends; I’ve known many a woman or man who is neither lady nor gentleman. I’m also very sad to say there have been times when I have acted less of a lady myself.

So, let’s break this down, shall we?

        Gentlemen: I recently came across a very helpful website focusing on what it means to be a gentleman, called Real Men, Real Style. It’s run by a former Marine Captain with an MBA, wife and four children, Antonio Centeno. The Gentleman’s Gazette interviewed Mr. Centeno who essentially believes, and I’m paraphrasing, that a gentleman’s appearance sincerely matters.

Think about this for a minute. Why would you believe that a gentleman’s appearance matters so much? Here’s my thoughts; I believe quite simply that when you look good you feel good, therefore you will also be treating other people as good as you feel. This thought goes for ladies as well.

So, what about the ladies?

        Ladies: There is also a website directed at being a lady called, The Elegant Woman owned and operated by Eunice Leong. Mrs. Leong has no specific, special training that I was able to research, but always felt as if she was meant to be and help other women be elegant ladies. I believe she’s doing an amazing job!

          There are many websites and books in print that will help describe how to be a lady or a gentleman in these modern times. I wish more people, especially young people, would take the time to learn the simple art of making other people feel comfortable. In truth, that is all a gentleman or lady is; someone who has the decency and respect for themselves and others in order to purposely provide a comfortable environment.

So, here’s my own thoughts on being a lady or a gentleman regardless of which gender you identify with:

  1. Always be polite.
  2. If you like something someone is wearing or how they’ve styled their hair, etc., be sincere with your compliments.
  3. Be kind to others in spite of their indifference, obtrusiveness, irreverence, hostility, etc. Sometimes people act out in derision due to pain or fear. Being kind will usually help the offending party to relax in your presence and feel relieved or even grateful.
  4. Be modest. Remember the old saying, “Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free”? Well, that saying is very true. It also shows others how you respect yourself.
  5. Address strangers formally. Those who bite back with, “Don’t call me sir/ma’am” are merely showing their own lack of self-worth and rebelliousness toward authority.
  6. Do not presume that the opposite sex (or even same sex) appreciates forwardness on your part when trying to strike up a friendship/relationship. Always be respectful.
  7. Don’t interrupt.
  8. Say sorry, excuse me, please and thank you.
  9. Be truthful, but not offensive.
  10. Be courteous.
  11. Be punctual.
  12. When in a public or group setting (especially around children) curb the cursing.

I could go on and on, but I assume you get the picture. All of the above are some of the finer points of being a Lady or a Gentleman.

Believe it or not, I actually attended Charm School as a young teenager, but I also learned most of the above references from none other than my parents and grandparents; oh, and Dear Abby of course!

Do I always follow my own advice? Well, I do my best, but I am not perfect. There have been times in my life where I’ve forgotten myself and acted a fool, which only hurt me more than others.

Parents and grandparents; please do all you can to teach your children how to be ladies and gentlemen. It’s never old fashioned to be courteous and it will help your children go so much farther in life.

What’s Your Purpose




What I’m Good At According To My Friends And Family

The following list is an actual record of the responses I received to the question, “What is it you think I do best?”

  1. Deal with stress
  2. You’re best at talking people into doing things your way
  3. I think you’re best at counseling the grieving. You’re a wonderful listener & have real life experience to lend proper advice. That’s my official answer. Honestly, I think you’re a wonderful mother, grandmother and friend
  4. Expressing unconditional love…Even when we don’t agree, when we’ve been mad at each other, or out of contact for a while, there has never been a moment in my life in which I doubted you love me.
  5. You protect the things you love in life. You’re a fighter! If ever I’m in a battle, I sure as hell want you on my side
  6. Living, loving, helping others… family oriented
  7. Always willing to help people and family before your needs
  8. Have compassion and love for others. Artistic, handyman, problem solver
  9. You’re compassion for others
  10. I think you organize and plan the best
  11. You’re amazing at giving advice, you know exactly what to say always
  12. You’re best at the execution of actions based upon he facts

Recently, I was taking a course in personal development and one of the assignments was to ask friends and family what they felt I was best at. Some of the answers, and from whom they originated, rather surprised me. Some seemed a bit of a no-brainer and some of them gave me a chuckle. Incidentally, the one that made me chuckle the most was from a longtime friend who, for a while, became a bitter enemy and then a friend again. All in all, the answers I received certainly gave me some food for thought.

It’s easy to look in the mirror and imagine you know the person staring back at you. You believe you know yourself better than anyone else does; but do you really? Seeing something and being something can sometimes be very different.

I understand that 30 years ago, most of the answers I would’ve gotten would have been very, very different than those I received today. Growth and change are inevitable, even for those who may be stuck in one form or another of mental or physical challenge. Mental, environmental, physical, emotional, people, places, situations; all these things promote change whether it may be good or bad.

Many people feel lost and hopeless because they just don’t know their true purpose. Think about the strengths you had as a child. Have those strengths remained with you over time? Have you nurtured those strengths? Have others nurtured those strengths? Or, have you let life get in the way of your strengths and lost focus? Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure even the most successful people on earth have at one time or another doubted their strengths. The difference between them and you? They never quit!

Some people consider failure an all-time negative action. Some people consider failure a launch to greater success. It merely depends on your perspective and what your action or reaction is to any given happenstance.

One of the simplest examples of perspective I’ve ever seen is from the Disney movie, “Meet the Robinsons” where the slogan was, “Keep Moving Forward”. In fact, that phrase is an excerpt from a quote by Walt Disney himself,

“Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long.

We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things,

 because we’re curious…and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”

Now, do you think Mr. Disney knew exactly what his purpose was? Walt Disney had a dream from the time he was a young boy to build an amusement park. He was focused and used his passion to create the greatest, most loved amusement parks in the world.

Another man who followed his purpose is Donald Trump. Although Mr. Trump may not be as loved by the masses as Walt Disney, he still must command respect for following his passion and making considerable strides in the real estate market. Although Mr. Trump’s technically a real-estate mogul, his true calling is in negotiation, finance and economics. Yet, my personal opinion is that he could work on his diplomacy and finesse a bit.

These two men are just a fraction of the amazing people who’ve followed their purpose and passions and made it BIG! Did they have failures? Yes! Did they let it stop them from their purpose? No! They used their failures to propel them into space on the rocket of success!

Now, figuring out your passion and purpose may seem like a daunting task if you’ve lost your way from the strengths of your childhood. Yet, there are simple exercises that can help you find it again. One of those exercises is to ask your friends, family, co-workers and business associates what they feel you’re best at. Another is to figure out what it is you like to do; what makes you feel good. Then, there’s a simple psychological test called the Kolbe test. This simple test shows you what your strengths are and helps you expand on them.

I’m sure you’ve all heard that to find your purpose and pursue it, you’ll be doing what you love so it won’t feel like work and the money will follow. But, how do you find the best way of following your dreams in a financially productive way?

Here are a few suggestions:

  1. Talk with people who are already doing it
  2. Study people who are already doing what you want to do
  3. Learn all you can about the options available to you
  4. Join groups that follow your interests
  5. Have confidence in yourself
  6. Believe you have what it takes to upscale whatever makes you happy
  7. Above all else, be aware of who you are helping by following your passion

That last one is a direct thought pattern I learned from the late, great Zig Zigler. One of his most famous quotes was,

“You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough

other people get what they want”

 Many people have followed in the footsteps of great people. One of the best ways to learn anything is by example. Think about when you were a young child. I’m sure I’m dating myself, but do you remember a game called “Monkey See, Monkey Do”? If not, the game was essentially a mimic game; you mimicked the actions of another child. So, think about who else you mimicked: your parents, siblings, teachers, friends and other relatives. How’d that work out for you?

As children, we primarily perform Unconscious Behavior Mimicry. We tend to unconsciously mimic our parents behavior at a very young age since we spend most of our time with them. Subsequently, children are also likely to mimic opposite behaviors or no correlating behaviors if they feel shocked or upset at the behavior they are witnessing.

Many of the behaviors learned as children are often carried into adulthood. As adults, we may have no understanding as to why we are either afraid of something or excel at something. There is great news though! Behaviors that are detrimental to our success can be changed; sometimes just as easily as mimicking someone who exhibits behaviors we desire. Other times, more extensive therapy may need to be involved.

The point is, that if you are shadowing the path and purpose of your life, but feel stuck, or you haven’t even started following your path; surround yourself with people who are successful in your purpose. Make a conscious effort to change old thought and behavior processes to benefit your goals. Lean on your strengths and guide yourself into finding your best ever job that doesn’t feel like work!

Blessings on your journey to success my friends!